A word of warning: forget everything you think you know about witches. And know this; not all witches are created equal. I’m no witch but I know enough to consider myself a bit of an expert. If I were one of them, I wouldn’t be able to tell you any of this anyway. So, you should consider yourself in a fortunate position. Not everyone has the opportunity to be party to this kind of information. I will try and keep it short but be aware we still have a lot to cover. Some of what I have to say will probably seem unimportant or insignificant. I can’t be the judge of that. I just feel it necessary to impart all I know. I have no idea how long my memory will last and need to pass it on before it gets lost. Maybe you can do something with what I am about to tell you. At any rate, I am feeling the pressure of time and don’t know how long we will have together. So let’s get started. The primary goal from days of old is that witches provide a connection between the living and the dead. The overriding problem is that in general the dead are a notoriously uncommunicative bunch. Way back at the dawn of time it was decided that witches should shoulder the responsibility nobody else wanted. Somebody had to take care of the dead. Straws were drawn and witches ended up with the short one. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it. Some of them are better at it than others. No two witches are alike. Everyone has their own special skill, your usual run-of-the-mill human is no different. We all have our own special gift. The whole purpose in life is to try and work out what that is. Unfortunately some of us never find it. Witches suffer from the same sort of problem. They do have one advantage and that is they know from birth that they have a skill. They don’t always know what to do with it, but the fact they can identify their skill gives them a head start over the rest of us. Unless they are very lucky, humans only work this out much later in life. Some of us never find our true calling. It’s not our fault, it’s just the way modern society is structured. Generally we humans are brought up to believe that we have to learn something. It doesn’t matter what that is, anything will do, we just have to go out and study, or train, or learn a trade. We are driven to do this because we need to get a job. Somewhere in our exponential growth as a modern society, we have forgotten we should be doing what we are good at. Before we even begin we should start by working out what that is. Most of us don’t. We just do whatever drops in our lap. We invest huge amounts of time and energy in preoccupying ourselves with something we are not suited to. We then either stick it out until the end of our days or fate steps in and we are forced to change. At which point, we usually try the next best thing that comes along. If we are lucky we chance upon our special skill. If not, we are doomed to a living purgatory until we work out what that particular talent is. That is another reason we have witches. Someone has to help us find out our one true purpose. At some point in history the powers that were decided witches was not a good idea. They made witches the enemy and convinced us they were bad. This was incredibly stupid because the entire idea was basically bad, it just complicated an already complex situation. It actually makes no sense that someone would decide to cut the only physical thread between the here and the there. As is usual, fear got in the way. Fear of the unknown has caused more misunderstandings, invasions, wars and outright slaughter than anything else. If there is any power on earth which reigns supreme, then it has to be fear. It also prevents us from uncovering our special skill. This is why we need witches. It doesn’t matter who you are, we all need them. Unfortunately we no longer live in a world which accepts them. We have effectively shot ourselves in our own proverbial feet. It wouldn’t be the first time. Witches are not blessed with a positive image. They are usually associated with something old and decrepit that feeds on small children. The general impression is that most of them have a high-pitched cackle and run around turning people into frogs. And then there’s the obsession with pointed hats. Somehow we are locked into a medieval viewpoint of witches and wizards. This was when the seed for the modern idea of magic was laid. The practitioners in the middle ages were generally clergy in apprenticeship who dabbled in all things spiritual. Their experimentation with summoning of demons and such has left us with a warped view of how witchcraft is practised. This has encouraged all kinds of wildly imaginative takes on the subject of necromancy. The purveyors of fiction have also not been gracious to the witching community. Put simply, the overall view of a witch is not good. They are hated, feared and considered positively evil. From a witch’s viewpoint it is a disappointment to considered in this way – but also a blessing. It makes for a very good cover-up. If you wish to practise any form of supernatural endeavour, you require a certain amount of freedom. Having a good disguise or being able to distract people from reality is advantageous. If you can do this on a large scale without having to put in too much effort, then even better. Bad press is not necessarily negative. In fact there is no such thing as bad press. It needs to be manageable but, other than that, under certain circumstances there is a preference for it. For the witching population bad press has been extremely fortuitous. It frees them up to go about doing the work they do best without the fear of prying eyes. It is a form of protection. Before I forget, if you want you can take notes, it might help. I wish I’d done the same myself when I had the opportunity. Then perhaps I could recall more than I presently do. I have the feeling that just by retelling what I know, the facts will come to light. So please be patient with me and together we will get to the bottom of this. Now read carefully and pay attention.